Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Top Ten things I have in common with Sen. Robert Byrd

1. We both worked as gas station attendants.  (In the summer of
1972 I sold gas for 32 cents a gallon in the Tiny Tim plaza, at the western
end of 4th Street in Santa Ana, California.  If it’s still there,
look for the sign of the smiling crippled orphan).

2. We both think George W. Bush is dangerously arrogant
and reckless

3. We like to cite Bob Woodward’s Bush at War: “I'm
the commander-- see, I don't need to explain-- I do not need to explain
why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the President.
Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't
feel like I owe anybody an explanation

4. We would both look incredibly presidential on that Boston Jumbotron. 
Of course, so would a ham sandwich.

5. Senator Byrd was interviewed today on Fresh
.  I listened to the interview.

6. We worry that not only can’t Bush pronounce “sovereignty” , he does
not understand that in our government sovereignty rests with the people
of the United States.  (Senator Byrd refers to his pocket copy of
the U. S.
.  I always think of that old Star Trek, where
the crew finds a tablet inscribed “E Plebnista” by incredibly Latinate
cave dudes, and recognize it as a degraded copy of the Preamble.)

7. Neither of us was alive when the Cubs last won the World Series.

8. Senator Byrd has many highways, bridges, etc. named after him in
West Virginia.  I have driven on many of the highways, bridges, etc.
named for him when I work in West Virginia.

9. Senator Byrd has written books
I have many bird books, and a “Frequent Feeder” card.

10. In the days following September 11, when the Bush administration
set up a “shadow government” operating in an undisclosed location, we both
learned of this by reading about it in the newspaper.  Of course,
Senator Byrd, as President pro Tem of the Senate at the time, and third
in the line of presidential
, should probably have been informed directly.  (See
2, 3, 6 above.)


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