Status Quo

NPR leads with this news item: “President Bush says people should vote for Republicans.”

What incisive reporting! How do they come up with scoops like that? Pledge today, and we can look forward to hard-hitting, in-depth stories like:

Folksy commentator remembers mom’s advice.
Author disagrees with critics.
Objects fall from height.
Another indie band.
Cat takes a nap.
Once again, Cubs come up short.
People die.
The sun also rises.
Worldwide entropy increase predicted.
Situation worsens, Bush unveils new slogan.